Thursday, August 18, 2011

Frustrated but not hopeless

Once again, Mr Poly and I are sailing troubled waters. We have been down this road before, no relationship is perfect, but I can't help thinking that it's redundant that we haven't learned how to avoid this. There's nothing terribly wrong, we are just snippy with one another lately. It usually seems to happen around this time of the year when our bills get ridiculous, I get stressed out preparing for the coming school year and Mr Poly gets to the point where he is itching for some time off but can't take it because it's the "busy season" and he is literally the only one that knows how to do his job.
I know, "This too shall pass."
For several years, this phenomena has caused so much doubt within me that I always back pedal in my poly beliefs. The little voice in my head says "See, your relationship isn't exempt from heartache" or "if you were feeling this way it would really upset you if he had someone else to turn to" and I throw up my hands and swear that I am done hoping to find someone to share our lives with. After all, if one partner makes me this nuts, I can imagine the tailspin two would send me into! Then a few months later when it has all blown over and Mr Poly and I are enjoying harmonious wedded bliss I begin entertaining the thought again.
This year seems a bit different. I have faith that we will weather the storm, and so I am not letting it affect the rest of my life the way it has in the past. It is frustrating, even annoying but I know that our relationship is bigger than the petty differences that we roll our eyes at. So I continue to approach what comes with an open heart and an open mind :)

1 comment:

  1. i think it makes a big difference that you recognize that it will pass and you and mr.poly will get through it. sometimes just realizing that it will be ok, and you've gotten through the same thing before helps to push through it again... you've don tit once, you can do it again!